This is a question that I ask many of my patients and even my own children very often. I have asked this question to my kids so many times, they now ask me the same question. I bet you are wondering why I would ask such a strange question.

The first time I ask someone this question, I usually get a confused look and then a questioning response of “Uh, no?”

Then I usually ask, “Do you have the ability to see into the future?”

Again, the response is “No,” with a look of “Why is she asking me this? Of course, I can’t see into the future.”

Then I ask, “Do you ever try to predict the future?” and most everyone says, “No, I don’t do that.”

Predicting the Future

So let’s ask ourselves… do we ever try to predict the future? Do we ever fear the worst case scenario will happen? If you have, you are not alone. Many people, including myself, fall into this habit and find themselves constantly worrying and feeling anxious.

My daughter plays volleyball, and her teams usually lose more games than they win. I started noticing on the way to every tournament she would say, “We are going to lose.” I would try teaching her to think positively, but my daughter considered positive thinking as lying to herself.

You Might Just Win!

So one day I asked her the question, “Do you have a crystal ball?” Then I followed up with, “You do not have the ability to see into the future, so you cannot make the statement that you will lose. It hasn’t happened yet. You don’t know what will happen. You may lose, but you might just win!”

Have you ever told yourself:

• “I’m going to fail.”
• “I will look stupid.”
• “No one will talk to me, and I will look very awkward.”
• “I won’t fit in.”

Set Up to Fail

Many times anxiety can creep in because we tell ourselves that something bad is going to happen. When we think the worst, we are setting ourselves up for the worst thing to happen by giving ourselves permission to fail. WE MUST STOP! But how?

First, let’s look at why do we do this. Our predictions of something bad happening in the future are usually based on things that have happened in our past. However, just because something bad happened in the past does not mean that it will happen that way every time in the future.

Also, there are many things in life over which we have no control. For example, we have no control over the things OTHER PEOPLE think, do, say, or believe. We also have no control over certain situations in our lives.

Worrying about things outside our control will not change the other person or situation. Instead, it will only make us feel worse.

Plan to Succeed

Instead of worrying about things you have no control over, focus on things you do have control over, such as what you think, do, say or believe.

Do you want to continue living in the past, or do you want to start working toward a bright future? Instead of telling yourself, “I’m going to fail,” start telling yourself, “I plan to succeed.”